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Wednesday, May 25, 2005

More Republican Thought Police Bullshit

Congressman Spencer Bachus, a Banana Republican from Alabama (known nationwide as a hotbed of current political and intellectual thought) takes serious issue with Bill Maher's offhand joke about the Army's failure to meet recruitment goals, calling it "bordering on treason."

Rep. Spencer Bachus, R-Ala., takes issue with remarks on HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher, first aired May 13, in which Maher points out the Army missed its recruiting goal by 42 percent in April.

"More people joined the Michael Jackson fan club," Maher said. "We've done picked all the low-lying Lynndie England fruit, and now we need warm bodies."

Army Reserve Pfc. England was accused of abusing prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

"I think it borders on treason," Bachus said. "In treason, one definition is to undermine the effort or national security of our country."

Now, my first thought, of course, is: Do Congressmen get free HBO, too? Doesn't this ass-hat have anything better to do than to watch HBO reruns looking for offensive material? (Or, perhaps, was he actually hoping to catch something, like an airing of Real Sex to wank his tiny Republican peener to?) Isn't it past your bedtime, Mr. Bachus? Programming for sensitive souls such as yourself is usually on after school at around 3 or 4.

I especially like how Bachus offers his idea of word definitions. It's kind of like saying "In hot gay sex, one definition is to stay at home watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." Or, like saying, "In war, one definition is to randomly enter into hostilities against countries who have only the most tenuous connection to actual threats against our own country, and to ignore any and all of the rules of war that we see fit, based on the contingency of the moment."

I don't know about you, but my definition of Treason comes pretty close to the defition in Websters: actually taking steps to overthrow your government, or to kill an official of said government. Somehow, I don't think joking about Lynndie England or the Michael Jackson Fan Club quite qualifies.

This intellectual butt-plug's lack of understanding of our laws, our language, and our nation's history would be astonishing in any other context, but frankly it's more than endemic of the know-nothing-ism prevalent among today's conservative elite.

"I don't want (Maher) prosecuted," Bachus said. "I want him off the air."

Here we see the true motive behind this imbecile's thinking: he'd like to censor people who don't agree with him.

I hope there's a special section of Republican Hell in which people like this are strapped in, Clockwork Orange style, and forced to watch Michael Moore documentaries all day, with commercial breaks featuring the new Paris Hilton commercial and clips of Howard Stern.


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